A silly song

This came in yesterday’s mail. I’d seen it before, but it still made me laugh!


Santa Claus, Santa Claus, You are Much Too Fat!
(sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

I heard a reindeer hoof, then Santa dressed in red,
came crashing thro' the roof and landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream, but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream, "I want a piece of cake!"

CHORUS

Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much too fat;
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat. Oh!
Santa Claus, Santa Claus, how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh!

He got up off the floor and said, "How do you do?"
I said, "My back is sore, my head is black and blue."
"So sorry!" he replied, and then he asked my name.
He offered me a ride, I said, "No, thank you just the same!"

CHORUS

I heard a "Ho, Ho, Ho," the sleigh was in the sky.
but it was moving slow and wasn't very high.
It wobbled in the air, I hoped it wouldn't fall;
Said Santa, chewing cookies, "Merry Christmas, one and all!"

CHORUS