Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm rich? Ho! Ho!

A friend told me about this list of the richest fictional characters. It was developed by Forbes Magazine.


I’m very real. Just ask my wife – or any small child.

But here’s the list.

Rank - Name - Net Worth
1. Santa Claus $ ∞
2. Richie Rich 24.7 billion
3. Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks 10 billion
4. Scrooge McDuck 8.2 billion
5. Thurston Howell III 8 billion
6. Willie Wonka 8 billion
7. Bruce Wayne 6.3 billion
8. Lex Luthor 4.7 billion
9. J.R. Ewing 2.8 billion
10. Auric Goldfinger 1.2 billion
11. C. Montgomery Burns 1 billion
12. Charles Foster Kane 1 billion
13. Cruella De Vil 875 million
14. Gordon Gekko 650 million
15. Jay Gatsby 600 million

Claus, Santa
Age: 1,600 years plus
Source: Toys
Net Worth: $∞
Hometown: New York City; North Pole (I only lived in New York for a short time)
Marital Status: Married, no children (My children will be surprised by this!)

Born in the fourth century as Nicholas of Myra in Anatolia, now southwestern Turkey. According to legend, gave away bulk of his inheritance to provide dowries for three beautiful--but impoverished--maiden sisters. Famously threw gold through girls' chimney where it landed in their stockings drying by fire. Later Roman Catholic saint. Relics stolen by Italian merchants 12th century; bones now in Bari, southern Italy. Moved to U.S. by way of Holland; settled in New Amsterdam, later New York City. Changed name to Santa Claus, gained weight, grew beard. Toy manufacturing operations at North Pole yielding apparently unlimited wealth. Spends every Christmas Eve trying fruitlessly to give away fortune to little children. Keeping up with the times: Compressive of naughty and nice boys and girls now available on the Web. Passionate interest in artic wildlife: Large reindeer preserve includes rare flying and red-nosed specimens. Member since time immemorial. --Michael Noer

Of course, they got many of the details wrong. But they meant well.

One detail I do want to correct is the idea that I make money off my toy operations.

My toys are free.

As for wealth, we have some money that kind-hearted people send us to help us with our work, but we still have to count pennies.

In my pocket and dresser drawer right now I have (in various kinds of money) the equivalent of about $61 U.S. I think in our private cash box we have the equivalent of a few hundred dollars. In our vacation fund, we have a few hundred more. That’s it.

Most of our wealth is in good will and good cheer, which are transformed into love and gifts.

Oh, but I do get plenty of cookies and milk!

If you want to see more of the story, go to:


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